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1. Hold up a dollar to the cashier and say “Give me all the guns in the cash register!”
2. Ask if they serve nudists.
3. Ask if the job application forms come in (insert random color here)
4. Haggle scratch ticket prices.
5. After making a purchase, try to convince the cashier that they spelled the number 4 wrong when they were pushing the buttons.
6. Climb onto the snack carts and start wheeling them around.
7. Take a can of soda, argue that the prices are too high, and start slamming it on the counter, gently so that it wont dent. Then buy it and give it to the next person in line.
8. Take a plastic fork, and threaten to stick it in the electrical socket if they don’t give you the money.
9. If they have any, buy bananas. Then stick your car keys in them and say you need some insurance.
10. Ask if their bathrooms are open to the public. If they say yes, say that they took too long to answer.
11. Walk behind the counter and say “Welcome to MacDonalds, may I take your money?”
12. Buy a pair of sunglasses, step on them, and say that they were like that in the store so you deserve a refund.
13. But a clicky pen and play a song on it so as to annoy the people around you.
14. Hold up a cell phone and say “Can you hear me now?”
15. Pick up a packet of mentos, and have some friends come in and start singing the mentos theme song.
16. Begin talking in a british accent during the middle of your conversation.
17. Take a bite out of a dog biscuit and argue that their candy is poisonous.
18. Discretely take a posty-note with the word poisonous on it and a skull and crossbones drawn on it, and stick it on the side of the candy counter.
19. Ask if the gum is made of real fruit.
20. Ask how many people it took to hold up the Wal mart deliveries.
21. Hold up a wanted poster with a picture of yourself on it and say “Have you seen this person?”
22. Ask if Abraham Lincoln came in recently, and if they say no then say that you want to avenge Batman.
23. Mix up all the magazines on the rack and ask where the time is.
24. While you’re in line, put on a ski mask and say “Now would be a good time for you to leave.”
25. Go to the counter and ask to see a Mr. Chuck Norris.
26. Hold up a dollar and say “Give me some of your finest crack.”
27. When you’re talking to the cashier, first talk normally, then talk in the third person, then switch to multiple personality.
28. Wear as many watches as you could possibly wear on one arm. Go in and ask the person at the counter for the time, flaunting the watches.
29. Give the person at the counter Chuck-e-Cheeses tokens to pay for your stuff.
30. Say that you drove all the way down to the store to see if your car was there.
31. Say that you bought a ton of scratch tickets from Spencer’s Gifts and you’d like to cash them all in.
32. Play loud and obnoxious music in the middle of the busiest place in the store, which is usually the line.
33. Ask to see “the back” of the “movies” section.
34. Come in and try to get free stuff by saying that rabid ninja mimes infected you with skin cancer and ate your family.
35. Take a miniature radio, stick it in your pocket, and walk around with cheerful theme music.
36. Read every magazine on the rack, regardless of what the employees say.
37. Walk into the store in an army uniform and yell at people who call you anything but the Red Baron.
38. Walk in on any major holiday and yell “Hah! I got the day off today!”
39. Walk in without a shirt, and when they say “No shirt, no shoes, no service,” rip off a friend’s shirt who’s the same size as you and say “Happy now?”
40. Come in with any weapon that shoots darts or small harmless plastic things, then go on a rampage and say “Hah! I own at slayer!” |
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