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Here it is, enjoy!
“Oh no,” said Tom, a worker at a nuclear power plant, “ I dropped my glasses into the tank.” Another worker looked into a container of nuclear waste. “Bad luck, Tom,” he said, “ ‘cause nobody would be stupid enough to reach in there. Feel free to do it yourself, though,” he said, throwing a ratty old pair of protection gloves onto the Tom’s lap. The worker walked out the door, his last words being “Good luck!” And he was gone. Tom stuck the gloves on, and reached into the tank for his gloves. About half way down, a hole in the glove became known, as nuclear waste flew between the untended seams and onto Tom’s right hand. He grabbed the glasses and quickly pulled his hand out, not exactly sure of what would happen to him now. His hand trembled, and began moving without his consent. This feeling was moving up his arm, and his hand was taking control over his entire body. Not thinking at all, but acting on instinct, Tom chopped off his arm with the axe kept in the emergency containers in the factory, and saved himself. Tom looked at the arm on the ground, and as he took a closer look, the arm was still alive, and crawling toward him. As the remainder of the workers left the factory, all they heard was Tom’s final cry, “It’s Zombie Hand!”
“Our top story tonight. Local nuclear physicist, Thomas Matthews, was found dead at his post at the power plant.” I was channel surfing when I came across this particular story. I stopped there, because I lost my personal battle with curiosity. “He was found covered in blood with his right arm cut off. Strangely, the body was found, but the arm wasn’t.” As I looked closer at the live footage, I saw an old glove, lying by the body. “Hey, Ben,” said Anthony, sitting right next to me, “that sounds a lot like someone YOU MIGHT KNOW!” Anthony lifted up his hand and made gnarling noises, occasionally yelling “Zombie Hand!” I just laughed and said “Kill it! Kill it! before it gets my tater tots!” We just did stuff like that for a while. Nothing that interesting. But something caught my attention on the tv. “There was also a torn glove and a pair of glasses, both found at the scene of the crime, covered in nuclear waste.” I just froze, thinking, “Wow, that’s really weird. Maybe it is Zombie Hand, after all.” But as I pushed that thought out of my mind, Anthony said, “So, next time we go to Japan, you’re showing me where you got your powers, right?” I just laughed sarcastically, and went on with my day.
After seeing a movie, I got home after that long day. I turned on the tv, and for some reason, the news was still on. I was about to change the channel when I heard the most disturbing news of my life. “A living arm has been rampaging all over the state of Maine. The military has tried to stop it, using force and reasoning, but the hand keeps pulling itself back together after every attempt. There have been no casualties as of yet, however, we are expecting several, unless this ludicrous limb is stopped.” I just thought to myself about how bad the writing in that news report was while I made up some excuse as to why I had to leave the house right away. I took my new ninja suit and my cell phone, and rushed out the door. I flipped open my cell phone and called Anthony, but he already knew about it. I ran to the last known sighting of the disembodied hand, which was a few miles north. Along the way, I switched into my ninja outfit while running and jumping through trees.
When I finally got there, I found a civilian standing by a flag pole, looking disturbed beyond belief. “Hey, was there a living disembodied hand walking around here somewhere?” would be a pretty insensitive thing to say at the moment, but as I was thinking about it, I unintentionally blurted it out. “Why, yes there was,” said a voice from behind me. I turned to see an old man, dressed in cheap clothes made to look fancy. I thought to myself ‘I’m guessing that’s the mayor’. He said that the hand went down south, but that there was a casualty so if I’m going down there that I’d better steer clear of it. “Who was it?” I asked. It was some guy named Rick who lived in the southern part of town. When the mayor showed me, I was utterly disturbed. Written in dark, blood red, were the words “Zombie Hand.” “Well,” I began, “I’d better get a move on if I’m going to catch this thing.” I shuddered and thought about the jokes I made about this kind of thing. And as I rushed down south without any remote attempt at hearing the mayor out, I was sickened at what was happening. But, hey, I defeated an entire secret ninja syndicate, right? C’mon, I couldn’t lose... Or, at least, so I thought...
I finally encountered Zombie Hand, unfortunately, in my town. Unfortunately as well, Anthony was running toward it. I jumped over and pushed him out of the way quickly, and said “Anthony, what are you doing here? It’s too dangerous here, leave now!” He just got mad and stormed off, and as I turned to face my foe, I noticed something. It looked smaller on tv. So Zombie Hand crawled in and threw itself into the air, almost hitting me, but I dodged the blow, and landed a kick on the palm. As Zombie Hand regained its balance, I whipped out a kunai and threw it at Zombie Hand, pinning it to the ground. As I walked toward it to see it die, it didn’t move at all. I thought that it was a pretty pathetic enemy if it wasn’t even willing to put up a fight. But then the kunai I threw popped out of the arm, and the arm regenerated itself. I was almost surprised, but then, how would this thing have made it this far if a tiny knife killed it? But then I noticed something else. It grew a little more. I thought to myself ‘Aw, man. Now what? How am I going to beat an indestructible right hand if whenever I kill it, it comes back more powerful than before?’ But then Zombie Hand picked up the kunai I threw and threw it back at me. It’s aim was a little off, but it did graze my arm. After a little while longer, I realized that I really couldn’t win, so I just ran. When I finally got home, I had remembered the news report that I saw that morning. About the dead factory worker with no arm, the glasses, and the ripped glove! I knew that there would only be one place left to continue my search. There.
As I arrived at the nuclear plant, I encountered many strange, evil looks from the employees there. A fat guy in a ninja suit... Ever seen it? Not pretty. But as I continued through the plant, I came across the scene on tv, surrounded by police tape. There was someone behind the tape, so I asked him, “Excuse me, but how, exactly, would you prevent some disembodied body part contaminated by nuclear waste from destroying a country?” I just waited for an answer, if I was gonna get one. It is kind of hard to take a fat guy in a ninja suit seriously. I just sighed and began to walk away, when out of nowhere he said, “Well, everything has a weakness, even super heroes. You’ve just gotta find it’s kryptonite.” He smiled at me, and I felt uncomfortable, then he just went back to his work. I thought to myself for a minute. What would a super powered hand be afraid of? But then I thought kryptonite, and said to myself ‘Maybe superman’s just allergic?’ So that’s when it hit me. I’ve been trying to think about a way to attack Zombie Hand using his scientific flaws. But humans have flaws, too. I’d attack it using it’s own human flaws. It didn’t have a brain, of course, or blood flow, so I’d have to think of something other than poison, or normal means of death. And that’s when I had an idea. The one thing that Zombie Hand could never escape from. Well, actually, it wasn’t good at all. It was just the only chance I would have at destroying it.
As I relocated Zombie Hand, I had just taken a trip to a local circus for one special prize. I headed toward his position, and my heart raced faster than I did. Since this was the only chance I had to get Zombie Hand out of here, I hoped and hoped that it would work. I finally caught up to Zombie Hand, and it looked a lot bigger than before. I landed and screamed, “Oi! Zombie Hand!” It turned to me, and, considering it’s reaction, it remembered me. It leaped into the air toward me, preparing for a huge fight, when out of my pocket, I pulled a chinese finger trap. You see why I was so sure it wouldn’t work? I stuck it on my own finger, and then slipped it onto Zombie Hand’s. I lifted up my hand, and, to my surprise, Zombie Hand was dangling helplessly in the air. It was kind of like watching an evil puppy squirm with his tongue stuck on a frozen light bulb on the top of a lamp post. And then I thought ‘Frozen! That’s it!’ So as I began to run toward the nuclear plant, I remembered that there was a news crew somewhere nearby following Zombie Hand. I just disregarded it, and ran toward the plant. As I did, a black van began to follow me.
When I got to the plant, I had Zombie Hand dangling from my finger, and got even more odd looks than the last time I was there. But none of them were evil. When I got to someone who looked important, I asked “Hey, do you have any liquid nitrogen and a subzero temperature holding tank?” He looked at me like I was crazy. I knew I’d have to explain. So I did. I’m not even going to spend time on that conversation, because it was long, boring, and unnecessary. Afterwards, the guy nodded his head and said, “Yeah, sure, and as soon as this hand’s frozen, how about we transport it to a more secure lab?” I just nodded and said “That’s fine.” After that was all done, I walked out of the lab, where a large amount of reporters were waiting for me. I couldn’t hear anything, and I was out there for all of thirteen seconds before I got a headache. So I quickly leaped out of the crowd, and into a nearby forest, where I leaped home while changing out of my suit. When I got home, my parents told me that they saw a ninja on tv, and that they wished I could have seen it. I just said that I didn’t need to, laughed, and fell asleep. I was too tired to listen to their lectures about rudeness and respect for my elders.
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